Goodnight, My Angel
by Miss Lemci
Summary: There she slept my angel.Peaceful she was but not for long, not after she heard what I had to say.She would hate me, I knew, but she would be safe.That's what was important.My, angel.My, love...my bella?- song-fic, one shot EPOV some DOC. Vampires include
1. Edward's song

**Summary:There she slept my angel.Peaceful she was but not for long, not after she heard what I had to say.She would hate me, I knew, but she would be safe.That's what was important._My_, angel._My, _love...My, Bella?- song-fic, one shot EPOV some DOC. Vampires included!!- What happened the night before Edward told Bella he was leaving.This is his struggle of how he dealt with it and how no matter what he would love _his_Bella forever, whether she knew it or not.These are the lyrics to his lullaby that he sings to her for the last time.**

**Disclaimer:Sadly neither of these belong to me.The song belongs to Bill Joel(in all his genius) and co. and the characters and basic plot belong to the lovely, the fabulous...MISS STEPHENIE MEYER!! I bow down to your greatness...not really since I'm sitting but metaphorically I do!! -bows awkwardly while sitting down-.**

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Her peaceful, beautiful face took my breathe away every time I saw her sleeping; even if that wasn't possible for a vampire.Her beauty astounded me, always surprising me.I have to leave her, I have to.I love her too much to stay.She says she loves me now, but after tomorrow that will change.She'll hate me forever and that's the way should be.She'll move on better that way.

I took in a deep silent breathe as my Bella started to mummer my name in her sleep.She knew something was wrong as I continued to avoid her.I could no longer look in her eyes and face seeing the worry and questions in her eyes.It would break my resolve so quickly and I couldn't let that happen.

That's why, lately, this was my favorite part of the day.When the angel before me so trusting and sweet would close her eyes and I would no longer have an excuse to keep up the hard facade I used all day.She slept while I hummed that lullaby I made for her so long ago.Now the new bittersweet words popped into my head without warning and I sang them quietly to my sleeping love.

_Goodnight , my angel  
Time to close your eyes  
And save these questions for another day  
I think I know what you've been asking me  
I think you know what I've been trying to say  
I promised I would never leave you  
And you should always know  
Wherever you may go  
No matter where you are  
I never will be far away_

I may say that in this song, but I knew if Bella were ever to be able to move on me and my family would have to be very very far away.I could never be near my love again, and that thought hurt more than a thousand vampire changes.But that didn't matter because no matter how far away I was she would always be mine and I would always be hers.I knew she doubted my love for her but she had no need to for my dead heart would always be hers.

"Edward I...love you." Bella sighed, not realizing the pain it brought me to hear those three little words knowing that they would never be heard by me again.My, angel had no idea what she did to me while she slept. Those little words she whispered to me in the night.My personal radio as hey changed with her variety of dreams.As she murmured to me I couldn't help but drift off into my on dream, still singing the new lyrics to her lullaby.

_Goodnight, my angel  
Now its time to sleep  
And still so many thing I want to say  
Remember all the songs you sang to me  
When we went sailing on an emerald sea  
And like a boat out on the ocean  
I'm rocking you to sleep  
The water's dark  
And deep inside this ancient heart  
You'll always be apart of me_

She would and always will.Nothing could deter my love for Bella, despite what I might say tomorrow.I'll be impossible to live with, I know.I will have to leave them soon there is no reason for them to suffer with me.

I listened for a moment to Bella's steady heart beat, so in tune I was to it now.Her sweet breathe fanned across my face momentarily stunning me, and she accused _me_of dazzling people.This beautiful, modest, stubborn, and amazing girl who captured me completely.

Bella, my love.I won't survive without you.But you must live without me, I'll make sure of it.You will move on and live a full life.I will be only a distant memory and you will only think of me briefly.You must because I cannot live with knowing you are unhappy.Someday, you'll be married and have children but I will always love you.

_Goodnight, my angel  
Now it's time to dream  
And dream how wonderful your life will be  
Someday your child may cry  
And if you sing this lullaby  
Then in your heart  
There will always be a part of me_

I would cry if I could, as I thought of my Bella being with any other man.It would be my own doing, but it didn't hurt any less.She would finally be able to live a human life.I chuckled as I remember how Bella fought with me at keeping her human.But my laughter soon faded as I couldn't stop an image of Bella as a vampire from interring in my head.

She would be beautiful, of course.She would be my whole universe.I would no longer have to be cautious, to be passionate with her without being afraid that I would hurt her. I could show her everything about the vampire life and I wouldn't be scared that she'd run away from me.Bella would be mine...forever.

_Someday we'll all be gone  
But lullaby's go on and on...  
They never die  
That's how you  
And I  
Will be_

I was close to breaking down.In just a few short hours I'd have to leave my angel forever.No more would I watch as she would turn her entire being to focus on one thing and never get to be the thing she focused on again.No more could I see that lovely, intoxicating blush flash across her face her face when she became embarrassed.I'd never get to see that flash of intuition in her eyes when she saw through my pretences.I could no longer kiss those supple lips or run my fingers through her silky smooth hair.Stare into those big, brown eyes.NO more would I feel the pleasure I got from when she said my name in that alluring voi-...

"Edward?," My goodess said groggily, sleep clouring her voice making it more sultry, if possible.My eyes whipped open and I looked down to see her starring up at me worridly,"Is something wrong, Edward?Why do you look that way?"

"It's nothing, love." I told her soothingly, quite hard when my voice was husky with pain."Go back to sleep." I told her as I continued to sing her the new lullaby, and watched as her eyelids drooped down again.

"Edward..."My love sang to me.

"Goodnight, my angel."

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**A/N:So that's that. I'm finished with my first _real_fan fic.Yeah yeah i know it sucks.Could you tell me how much??Review please!!You know you want toooo!!**

**P.s. if you want to hear the actual song the link is in my profile!!**

**love ya!!**

**ALI**


	2. Song in my Head

Those haunting words.Such haunting words.I can't think cant' comprehend where they could have come from.They've followed me to my death.It's been one hundred years since I was changed into a vampire and 150 since I died.I remember that day so clearly that not even the memories of my vampire life could be more crystal._He_left me then and I was never the same since.I drank, I took drugs, I even tried to kill myself a few times.You would have thought with my black luck I would have succeeded.It was only when Charlie finally had enough and sent me to a special institution that I got out of my ditch.

I met a boy a nice nice boy who never knew anything of the supernatural world that I had thrown myself into so readily.We got married really quick and had two kids by the time I was 20, two stunning little girls.But no matter how far away from it I got.I couldn't get away.Not from him, not from his family, his enemies, even that mysterious, beautiful song followed me!That song that is the only thing that makes since anymore.

_Goodnight , my angel  
Time to close your eyes  
And save these questions for another day  
I think I know what you've been asking me  
I think you know what I've been trying to say  
I promised I would never leave you  
And you should always know  
Wherever you may go  
No matter where you are  
I never will be far away_

Victoria came and left so fast that my human eyes had no chance to see her.She saw how Ed-_he _left me and yet she still didn't leave without her revenge."The blood of your new family for the blood of mine." she said.So blind I was with agony that I never even knew what happened until she bit me.

Being a vampire means nothing, of course.It's not as important to me anymore.My power, a sheild type thing that can only protect my mind.It's a useless thing that couldn't possibly protect me from the worst pain there is.I've never drake from a human though, a little present for Carlisle even if he left me too.

_Goodnight, my angel  
Now its time to sleep  
And still so many thing I want to say  
Remember all the songs you sang to me  
When we went sailing on an emerald sea  
And like a boat out on the ocean  
I'm rocking you to sleep  
The water's dark  
And deep inside this ancient heart  
You'll always be apart of me_

_Goodnight, my angel  
Now it's time to dream  
And dream how wonderful your life will be  
Someday your child may cry  
And if you sing this lullaby  
Then in your heart  
There will always be a part of me_

All of them Alice, Jasper, Esme, Emmet, Carlisle, and even Rosalie left me with no family.I had Charlie once but even he is gone now, Victoria yet again.They are all dead, some only to me, however.They might as well for what they did to me.Then even still they get to die.

I've thought about going to the Volturi, and yet I couldn't.I don't deserve death, I know that now.I realized after I had gotten out of the institution and after I was changed that I wasn't worthy of death.Why else would fate have it so I was turned. Even the fates knew if I didn't deserve Edward that I couldn't possibly be befitting for anything less.

_Goodnight, my angel  
Now it's time to dream  
And dream how wonderful your life will be  
Someday your child may cry  
And if you sing this lullaby  
Then in your heart  
There will always be a part of me_

_Someday we'll all be gone  
But lullaby's go on and on...  
They never die  
That's how you  
And I  
Will be_

_Edward_.My one and only love.I still love him evn if he broke my heart into thousand of pieces as if it were a toy.It was and I'm the mother of the little boy who broke it because no matter how valuable that toy was I'll still forgive him.My Edward where have you been for so long.I never found you anywhere.And oh!how I looked.

My human memories are slipping away from me, even if that day in the woods is clear to me, the good times are fading.They are disappearing before my eyes and I can do nothing about it.The day we met, the day we went to our meadow, when we kissed, how you would look at me a certain way.I can remember certain days your hardness and cool, and not the usual vampire kind.Those horrible days that left me worried and alone are all I have left of you and my human days.That and that song.I wonder where it came from.Was it you?

_Someday we'll all be gone  
But lullaby's go on and on...  
They never die  
That's how you  
And I  
Will be_

**A/N:Alright I wrote a second chapter!It's been in the back of my mind for a long time and I decided to let the annoying thing out so here yah go!!It's little rough so if you find any errors let me know please!Comments?Complaints?Thanks for reading ENJOY!!OH!!and tell me if you want another chapter like a happy ending type thing cause I'm getting depressed WRITING this!!thanks again!!**


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